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My Thoughts: Do You Keep Your Friends of the Opposite Sex While In a Relationship!

Couple, Laughing, Happy, People, Together, Young


The word friend is a very strong word, and we should be mindful of who we call friend! A friend is someone that's going to be there no matter what. When you laugh, cry, and get sick, the friend is there. They are often there before you meet that special someone and decide to settle down. Hell, they might even know you better than that special someone that you just met. The question is... what if that friend(s) is of the opposites sex, and you have settled down?

Let me paint the picture....! So you are chilling at home with your Bae, Boo, Husband, Wife, Significant other, suga daddy, man, woman, other, or whatever the hell you want to call them or it. You get a phone call from your home girl or home boy, and they ask you to go out and have some drinks because they need to talk. What do you say? If you say yes Ill meet you there, will you be in trouble? If you say no I can't, did you feel like you were not being a friend. Ill also add that you and your boo were not spending quality time, yall are just at home doing nothing, so its not like you are leaving them at home bored! 

I have always had more friends of the female gender than males, and that's probably because I love the convos that I get from women. I have always wanted a sister, and I was never blessed to have one, so often times I would become that guy to offer that brotherly advice. Now that wasn't the case with all, some were just women that I was attracted to and we never could make it., so we remained friends. In my late teens and twenties, I would totally disappear on my female friends when I got into a relationship, because I didn't want any problems at home. I've been around long enough to know how women can be, even the so-called friends. In my early thirties I communicated a little more with female friends, just not overly or definitely not going out with them.

My mentality started to change at age 33 when my first wife walked out on me in 2013! I started to make new lady friends around that time, and I missed some of my old ones who I could confide in. These new friends of mines helped me kept my spirits up, and a few old ones resurfaced. I said to myself that "I am never letting my friends go just because I met someone new". Now, Ill get back to that statement in a few, allow me to continue my story. This post was not suppose to be long, but I got to give you a little of my business!

So its 2014 and me and my first wife are done, am I'm officially kickin it with my new friends. I ended up dating someone, but me and her didn't work out, we remained cool. So in the middle of 2014 I started to hang out with an old friend from like 05. I was in my transition stage of moving to Atlanta, and me and her would hang out when I would come back to Macon. So while I was in ATL I made a friend by the name of Keyna, she was soooo cool. She was just getting out of a bad relationship, so we really connected. I think that she liked me, but I saw her as a friend, she was just so very special to me. We would hang out and talk about everything.

So me and my friend from back home were hanging out on the weekends when I would ride back there, and we started to talk about why we never hooked up. I told her that I didn't think that she liked me, and she was like "are you crazy, we talked everyday".  To make a long story short, I started to spend more time with her, and kinda put Keyna on the back burner. I was going back home every weekend, or either she was riding up here to the ATL. You can guess what happened next, me and old girl from Macon became a couple in January of 2015, married by June of the same year.

After we became a couple, Keyna told me that she missed her friend, and that she would like to "hang out with me, aren't we friends" ? It kind of hit me in the heart because she had been there for me like a real friend should. I had plans on keeping in touch with her, but I wasn't to sure about the hanging our part, I just didn't want any drama. So after I married in June, the shit went sour by July!! I mean my GOD it was a horrific marriage. I had married someone that wore a mask, and that mask came off within a month. I take marriage very seriously, but I realized that this is someone that I needed to get away from. 

I was just divorced a year and a half earlier, so I was like "Kataurus,  you can't divorce again", at least not that quickly. So we made it to 2016, but by the New Year I was at my breaking point. I had been disrespected on all levels, and I was so stressed that I started to have chest pains. I didn't want to talk to my family because I didn't want to here all of the negativity, and I believe in keeping my marriage problems in my home. I learned that lesson from my first marraige! Things got so bad that I had to talk to someone who I could trust, I wanted to call my dear friend Keyna.

I fought with my conscience so hard, I felt like if I were to call her, that I would be disrespecting my wife and GOD. So another month or so went by and I just lost all respect for my wife. Maybe Ill tell yall the reason why in another post, its just to much. She pissed me off so bad that I got in my car, called the only homeboy that I had at the time, and cried like a fucking baby! I was soooo stressed and out of my mind that he called one of his homeboys and they prayed for me on the phone. I was completely lost and confused. I didn't want to go back home, I went to a sports bar called Taco Mac!

I sat down at the bar, ordered me a drink, and called my friend Keyna. At this point I didn't give a dam about my wife's feelings, because I new it was over. It had been so long since I talked to Keyna, that she asked me "who is this LOL". We got to talking and I just spilled my guts to her, and it felt sooooo good talking to my friend. She revealed to me that she had been battling cancer since the very last time we talked. The last time that we talked she told me that she was having stomach pain, and it turned out to be stomach cancer. I was so hurt by it because I felt like I should have been there for support.

So we kept in touch over the next few months, and my so-called wife went back home to her parents in May of 2016. We signed papers in June, and we were divorced by October. I kept in touch with Keyna and she was in remission, she said thank GOD I got my friend back. I was also so very happy to have my friend back as well. I kept on trying to meet up with her, but she always had some excuse as to why she couldn't come. I think that it had something to do with her looks, due to the fact that she had lost a lot of weight fighting the cancer. We pretty much just yapped on the phone all of the time.

One day she called me and told me that the pain came back, and that she had to go back into the hospital. It had something to do with her intestines, and it was very serious. I called her one night in May of last year, and she told me in so many worlds that they could not help her. I was like what do you mean, there is something that they can do. She was so doped up on meds that I could not understand her, and she told me she was sorry that she sounded like that, and that she would call me back. Months went by and I never heard from her, and I got very worried. I started to feel like something terrible had happened. I was like GOD please don't let her be dead! I was so scared to check her Facebook page but I had to know, so I checked it. It was full of RIP's, and I was so broken!

My friend had died, and I hadn't seen her because I was trying to please a woman who treated me like pure shit. I am shedding tears as we speak, and I am also angry with myself. This girl supported me and helped me get through some troubling times after my first divorce. I turned my back on my friend, and if I was a real friend I would not have done that. A real friend will be there no matter who you are involved with, so I will never in my life turn my back on who I call my friend again. If your mate can't understand that, then you need a new mate. Thank God that I have a full grown woman who trusts and understands me! My tears won't let me type any longer, GOD BLESS YALL!





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